told you. I’m back. My goal is to do one of these rectangles a day. Yes. That is my challenge.

and this takes us into January 2022. Like 2021, every day felt like I was fighting off a mental breakdown. I was broke, hungry, exhausted. Scared. Am I done? I’m not hearing back from recruiters. Simultaneously, I wonder if I’m even capable of doing the work. Is this just in my head, the result in living in this bubble for two years and counting?

Do I still have the juice?

I think I do. At least deep down I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this.

Late on another assignment, waiting on paychecks, feeling down on myself, sober for a month, I break down and pick up booze with my groceries. Before I take a sip, I get a text that my mother is sick with Covid-19. She’s not vaccinated and refuses to go to the hospital. She and I have not talked since an argument we had shortly after the pandemic started. Ideologically, we are on opposite sides. I don’t want to get into all that here. She is doing well and is back home is the point of me mentioning it I guess. Since her recovery we are once again talking, and I’m very happy about that. I’m very grateful to my family for caring for her. I love her and miss her and hope to see her soon.

Just as that emergency was playing out, Kim called me early on the day of her flight that Charley got out of his crate at his dogsitter’s, and thus Charley was out of a dog sitter. Charley and I are pretty familiar, we hung out at Christmas. The problem is my boys aren’t super dog friendly (obviously on me). How was I going to make this work!? Luckily, a lot of treats and being around to break up scraps worked out, because that went so much better than I expected. There were a few dust ups here and there, but mostly it was pretty chill.

The next day, I had these 👆🏼 boys at the park. All was going great. I was going to take a picture. Phone wasn’t in my pocket. “Oh well. I must have left it at home.” A bit later, we’re back home. Phone isn’t here either. “Fuck!” Just another kick in the ribs. Things ain’t so hot and now my phone is gone.  Using Find My on my iPad, I was able to track it to a couple blocks away. I keep pinging the phone, but it’s nowhere within earshot. Defeated, I head home.

There, I get a message from the Blvd Boys (my chat group of Chicago/L.A. homies). Someone found my phone and contacted them! This person was mad cool, and I am forever grateful. Got my phone back that night with no hassle. What a fucking relief! Shout out Good Samaritans!

The next morning, we homies are at the dog park. I think I was on my phone when Charley tugged after a squirrel. My foot hit a hole in the ground and I twisted my ankle. Charley then took off after the squirrel, my foot twisted in the ground, leash wrapped around my wrist, and pulls me down like I was a statue of a dictator. I’m glad I at least managed to hang on to the leash. but I was toppled. I limped home with the boys. I managed to walk the rest of the day (albeit painfully) but the next day? No dice.

I was barely able to get these dogs out for their walks, but I pulled through.

Just as this chaotic week was wrapping up, news was looking better for my mom, and my foot was feeling better.

The next morning, gout hit the same foot I twisted. Was it the booze I drank that one night (over a week ago)? Was it my diet, stress, lack of exercise? Likely all of the above.

Kim was home, Charley going home with her. I got paid on a freelance gig. Enter Jake, Katie and their kids.

I wish I got to spend more time with them during their brief stay in L.A. Tired from the weeks before, gout driving me crazy all day, and scrambling to catch up on my work, I only made it out a couple hours on Friday and Sunday. Thanks, Pedi, for the ride!

I was going to post one more of these, but instead I’ll combine them into this one long post.

I finally completed a project that was due a while back. I’m incredibly embarrassed by the length of time spent completing those drawings. I used to be faster. It was a perfect storm of taking on too many projects, burnout, notes causing projects to collide, and depression/anxiety sending me into a tailspin, juggling gigs like plates.

This wasn’t planned. I was anticipating working a steady day gig, closing out my freelance projects, and using my nights and weekends working on passion projects (the likes of which you’ll see here). Not getting picked up for another season on the show I was working on sent me scrambling for work and taking on everything I could.

That is still my immediate goal. Find a steady day gig at an animation or design company. Pick away Gabby’s GEARS, Sketches, zines, videos, and other fun goods in my spare time. I’ll get there. Things are starting to fall into place.

Lately, I’ve been picking up steam. Maybe I’m catching an “up” moment. Getting stuff sorted out is helping. This post is helping. I didn’t plan on it being so long. Honestly, blogging is more satisfying than posting on social media.

I have goods that I owe Patrons. I’m still getting this all together (soft launch etc..) I apologize for the delay. I appreciate you sticking around, and hope you enjoy all I’m posting here!

Bout to call it for the night. Thanks for indulging me.

Have a wonderful night, and if I’m about what I say, I’ll see you with a new post tomorrow!

Love,

Jose

22/2/10

© 2023 Jose Garibaldi